October and November updates

Wow time flies when your having fun! We have had a few busy months but I wanted to share pitures from them so lets rewind to October!

We had a great Halloween. We were busy showing off these two cute boys. "T" and I came up with the costume idea. (It was originally a pillow sold at Sportsman's). I had a lot of fun dressing the boys up. Coleman was not to excited about the whole thing, but he did enjoy the candy. (Sorry no picture of Coleman alone, he wasn't having it)

In November Brunton ended up in the hospital for a couple of days with a cold (See previous post). He did great and was out of there in 2 days. We hope not to go back again this year, or ever!

Here is a picture of Brunton'sroom. Not your typical nursery, but it could be worse. At least now we are ready for whatever comes. We have the oxygen, suction, nebulizer and pulse ox!!

Here are a couple pictures of the kids:

Brunton is now 3 months old. He smiles, and laughs. I love waking up every morning to Brunton jabbering away in his crib. He rarely cries. He is doing great with his therapies. I am so proud of him.

Oh and he has become a thumb sucker. I have always secretly wanted a kid that was a thumb sucker! So cute!

Coleman was terrified of santa last year so we decided to start talking about him early to prepare Cole. Well I think that he has caught on. He carries around the toy magazine and tells me all the toys he wants. I can't wait to see how excited he gets at Christmas.

Don't you just love the signature "Down's tongue". So cute.

Well Brunton's had gotten out of control so he got his first hair cut. (He just didn't look as good with a comb over. Much better now. I think that it gives him personality.

THANKSGIVING 2010

We were not able to go anywhere for Thanksgiving ths year because we didn't want to risk Brunton catching anything, so we had our own. It was fun and stress free (well except the stress of cooking a turkey for the first time).

The Guests:

Very cute, but wanted nothing to do with the feast.

Requested to have hot dogs and mac and cheese (should have just skipped the turkey)

The feast!

Here is Coleman and Brunton playing in the tent that we built while awaiting the infamous storm that never really came. It was a lot of fun, we even slept in it!

* Brunton update: We met with the cardiologist yesterday and he is not happy with Brunton's weight. We talked about Brunton's aspiration pneumonia, which he thinks may be atelectasis (collapse of the lung). He has put him on a new medication to try and increase the motility in his gut so that hopefully he will start gaining weight again. He also said the words that I had been expecting and dreading SURGERY. I knew that he would more than likely have to have it, so I was suprised how those words bothered me. I see babies that have this surgery and a lot worse on a daily basis, but they aren't my baby. But as the day draws nearer I am becoming more anxious. The surgery will be at the end of January or first of February as long as we can keep him healthy. We also meet with the ENT doctor at the end of December to set a date to get ear tubes. Wow we are going to have a busy new year! He is well worth it!

And the culprit is.....

So what kind of horrible, nasty, super bug put our sweet little Brunton in the hospital. Was it RSV, or bronchiolitis or some other nasty thing?? Well the results are in.... he had Rhinovirus aka the common cold! Are you kidding me? Something that every person gets this time of year can take a sweet little happy infant and with in a matter of hours put him in the hospital. My first thoughts are great if we end up in the hospital for this then what happens if he does get RSV?? So that is why we have become hermits. The only time that we have left home in the past week was to go to the doctor, and that is all we will do all winter long. Sounds fun huh. I am already sick of the walls of my home that seem to be closing in on me, okay so thats a little dramatic, but I do find that it is frustrating to be homebound. Even to do the simplest of things like running to the store has become quite a production. If people would just keep their sick kids home and stay home when they are sick themselves then we wouldn't have to be as careful. So we are asking that if by chance you come to visit us or if you will be in contact with Coleman that you stay away if you are sick. Because obviously our little Brunton can't handle even the simplest of illnesses. And if you think that it will be okay its just a little cold I want you to think of what my poor little guy had to suffer through in the hospital! To him its not just a little cold.
Any way here is an update on Brunton...
I took him to the pediatrician today so that he could get his first RSV vaccine. He weighed 10 lbs 2 oz, down a little bit from last week but he has been sick. He looked good but I have noticed that he still sounds junky and no amount of suctioning has helped. I wondered if he was possibly aspirating his milk because he seems to get worse after eating and sure enough that is what is going on. After looking at an x-ray it was determined that he has the start of a right upper lobe pneumonia, which is characteristic of aspiration. The doctor is not sure whether this is a chronic thing or if it is just due to his cold. So the plan is to put him on an antibiotic and start him on prevacid for reflux and see if it clears up. If it doesn't clear up we will have to do more extensive testing to see if in fact he does this all the time. We are also putting rice cereal in his bottles to hopefully thicken them just enough to stop him from aspirating it. He will also be seeing an ENT doctor so that he can get tubes placed in his ears. Because of the down syndrome he has small ear canals and the doctors are unable to look in them to determine if he has ear infections. The ear tubes will make it so that we can see if there is drainage thus we can tell if he has an infection. So for now we are just trying to keep him healthy and happy (at least keeping him happy isn't hard!!).
As for Coleman he had an ear infection last week but is doing much better now. This kid cracks me up, he is always coming up with something funny. Right now he is on a christmas kick ( I know way to early to be talking about christmas, but I had my reasons. Coleman was terrified of Santa last year and so I wanted to prepare him early so he could enjoy the Christmas season.) Well Coleman has loved the idea of getting presents and so when the Toys R Us toy book came he was in heaven. You should see the thing it is barely holding together. He spends hours looking at page after page deciding what he wants. The kid even has to sleep with the thing!! I love to see him so excited about Christmas! The other thing I love about this kid is how much he absolutely loves his brother. When Brunton was in the hospital Coleman came to visit and the first thing that he wanted to do was climb up in the crib with his brother. After putting him next to Brunton he leans over, kisses him on the forehead and says "Brunton I missed you all day, I am so glad to see you". He was so concerned about his brother and was very upset that he had to be in the hospital. I just love these two boys. Everyday it melts my heart how much they love each other. Even Brunton will react when Cole walks in the room, or talks to him. I am very lucky to have them!!! I will post pictures soon (I need to charge the battery in my camera).

Blasted Respiratory season strikes our house!

Even sick he is so dang cute!!!

Well this is how we got to spend our night. Not exactly what we had in mind. Brunton was fine on Tuesday morning when I got home from work, we went to a support group for people with kids that have special needs, and then the nurse from early intervention came to weigh and measure him. She said that he looked and sounded great, he was 10 lbs 4 oz. But about 45 minutes after she left he started to sound really congested and was gagging and choking. We decided to wait it out because Coleman has had a cold and that is what we figured Brunton had. But by 5, we were worried enough to call and make him an appointment with the instacare. By the time he was seen the congestion had gotten worse, he was throwing up mucous, and he had a fever. After being examined and a quick trip to the suction clinic the Dr. decided that it would be best to stay in the hospital overnight. So by 2 am he had blood drawn, an Iv placed (which they put in his poor scalp), he had been cathed to get a urine sample, he had a chest x-ray ( in some scary mid-evil looking contraption...glad we don't use those at Primary's) and been suctioned and given breathing treatments. Needless to say we were exhausted! They have continued the suctioning and breathing treatments through the night and today he seems to be doing better. He still has a lot of junk in his lungs and sounds congested from time to time. He also had to have a spinal tap this morning because it is protocol for any infant under 90 days that has a fever to get one. So now we just sit and wait, wait for the test results, wait for his lungs to clear, just wait to go home. Unfortunately I think that this is how our whole winter is going to go. The Dr. was telling me the kids with DS have problems with their white blood cells responding to infections because they are also affected by the extra chromosome. I guess that we will have to become even more hermit like than I had planned. I just don't love sitting in the hospital, its enough to just go to work 2 times a week. This brings up my pet peeve, Please stay home if you are sick!! I know that it sucks, but it also sucks for me to have to sit in a hospital room with a sick child who can't breathe and has to be poked and prodded. Respiratory season is starting and we will all be better off if we respect others by not spreading those nasty germs. (Sorry if I am rambling but I basically haven't slept since Sunday night and it is currently Wed.)

What's New?

Well we are still alive and doing quite well. Coleman is growing up so fast and it seems to have accelerated in the last week. He has even gained a serious attitude which I claim comes from his father (we all know that he gets it from me!). He is learning new things everyday and even with his attitude I think that he is the cutest thing in the world. He has such a loving attitude towards everyone, ecspecially his little brother. He is always hugging, kissing, or even just talking to him. Tonight when I opened the car door to get them out I noticed that they were holding hands. That is just the kind of boy Coleman is. He is such a comfort to Brunton. The other morning Coleman I woke Coleman up and he was being moody as usual (he is not a morning person, also gets that from me), but as soon as he saw that I had his brother he started chatting away and was as happy as could be. I think that they must have been friends a previous life!! Brunton has also been doing pretty good. He was 9 lbs 9 oz at his last weigh in. I can't believe how big he is getting. He is back on his oxygen but just at night. The cardiologist also put him on a medication called Lasix that is used to pull the extra fluid away from his heart and lungs. We will meet with the Cardiologist again in November to see about his surgery. At this point it looks like he will be having surgery no matter what, we just don't know if it will be this year or if they will wait until he is one. Other than that he has been doing the "normal" baby stuff. It is amazing how excited we get over the basic "normal" stuff, but when you are told that your baby wont do things, or will do things at a slower pace than other kids his age you get excited. But the good news is that so far he seems to be right on track! Yes he is a little bit more floppy than other infants, but he holds his own. He has a physical therapist that comes in once a month to work with him. Right now we are working to increase his neck strength by doing tummy time. Coleman has appointed himself to be Brunton's tummy time coach. Every day he asks Brunton if he is ready for tummy time (some times if I turn my back Coleman will even take it upon himself to role Brunton onto his tummy). They will lay there on there tummy's talking until Coleman gets bored and runs off to play. It is so cute listening to Cole tell Brunton to lift his head up, and then when he does he tells him what a good job he is doing. The therapist says that Coleman will be a great help to keep Brunton doing what he needs to. Other things that Brunton can do include cooing, smiling,turning his head to see who is talking, and staring at our faces, I know normal baby stuff, but we are really proud of him!!! As for "T" and I, we have been busy trying to keep up with the fast pace of life. "T" is enjoying what I think is his favorite time of year...Hunting season. (yes that is an actual season in our home).

Denial.. Not just a river in Egypt.

I have found myself wondering over the past few days if I am truley okay with the turn of events in my life or if I in fact live in a constant state of denial.I think that sometimes I put on a good show. Somedays I keep it together pretty good. But the truth is I still feel heartache, I still feel fear, I still have doubts about the future. I find that as I go about my daily activities at home with just my two kids that I can completely ignore the fact the Brunton has DS. He acts like any other newborn. He sleeps, he eats, he poops, and then he repeats it! Occasionally he will coo and stare at us with his beautiful piercing eyes and I even think we get a smile now and then. He can move his head, he holds our fingers, he cries if your not paying attention to him, and comforts the second he is held.( Yes we are already wrapped around his finger). Some days I even catch myself thinking that the genetic's test must be wrong he is doing just fine. I still dream of him doing all the "normal" things in life. I know that chances are he won't do everything that a "normal" kid will do, but I think that it gives me comfort to think that he can be whatever he wants to be. I don't think that I am quite ready to give that dream up yet. I hate to think that the doctor was right and my child will never amount to anything. So here is the honest truth, I am not 100 percent okay yet. Somedays I still cry myself to sleep, somedays I will see another baby that is "normal" and I feel the jealousy raging inside me. Someday's I want to punch the people who think that their comments are helpful, when really they just hurt. I know that I do not have it that bad, and I know that I am lucky to have such a healthy baby, but some days I feel sorry for myself, okay. Believe me I don't need to be told other people have it worse, I see it everytime I go to work.I feel like I need to be completely honest on this blog so that other people know that these feelings are normal. Someday's I feel sorry for Brunton and the struggles that he has, someday's I cry for Coleman and the fact that he will have to help care for Brunton and may be embarrassed by him at times. I worry that as he gets older he will hate me for this. Someday's I worry that I will die and there will not be enough money to support Brunton. I worry about who will help care for him, who will make sure that he is safe and protected, who will ensure that he has a roof over his head and food to eat? I feel guilty because maybe people don't think that I love him enough, or that I am a good enough mom because I do have all these feelings. I feel so guilty most of the time for being jealous of the "normal" baby, or for feeling sorry for myself. So please don't judge me, trust me I do it enough for the both of us. Understand that I will have bad days, but that I would not trade this little boy for any other baby in the world. I remember the day that I found out that I was pregnant. I was so excited, I had been having a crappy year and I didn't think that I would get pregnant so fast. I decided to test before I started a new diet just in case. It's a good thing I did. I remember how excited I was. I have always wanted to be a mom, and I knew that I wanted Coleman to have a sibling. I loved that baby from the second I found out. And I fell even more in love with him the first time I saw him. From the time when the nurse handed him to me in the delivery room until they took him to the NICU I did not let go of that little boy. So please don't ever doubt my love for him. I will do whatever it takes to give this little guy every option out there so that he can grow up and be the best at whatever it is he wants to be!!!

Brunton was blessed on 10-10-10. Pretty cool. Not only was it a cool date, it was also my moms birthday! He looked absolutely stunning in his blessing outfit, and was a really good baby all day. He was awake for the whole day, which was great, except I had a hard time waking him to feed him the next day! I think it was a little to much excitement for him. All in all it was a wonderful day!

Everyday I see more and more that these two really are going to be best friends!

I was trying to put Coleman down for a nap, and he just kept insisting that he wanted to "snuggie" Brunton. Finally I gave in and laid the two of them down in my bed next to each other and Coleman wrapped both of his arms around his brother and soon they were fast asleep! I can not think of any other moment in my life that was better than this. It was so sweet how they were both cuddled in. (Don't worry after I took the picture I moved Brunton to a safer place to sleep! I didn't want him to get smashed.)

It's not what you say, It's how you say it.

In the past 2 months I have been thrown into a whole new world. On the one hand it is great because I have met so many people with DS who are doing well and actively participating in society. (Unlike the picture that was painted for us in the hospital). They have jobs and homes, they participate in all kinds of activities, and just enjoy the simple things in life. (I wish that I were more like these amazing individuals). But on the other hand I feel like I have to constantly worry about offending someone with what I say. Now please do not be offended with what I am going to say next. I have neglected to write this for some time now for fear that I would hurt someone in some way, this is not my intention. But I want this blog to be a place where I can express what I am feeling without repercussions. I have found that the "R" word is a hot topic amongst these parents, and caregivers. (For those of you who don't know the "R" word is retard, or retarded. "T" and I have had many discussions sbout this since having our sweet little boy. We are unsure of what to think. I am guilty of using this word frequently. I remember as a child my mother telling me that it was not nice to say it, but I could never understand why. To me the "R" word has no relation to a person that has disabilities. How many times have you joked "You're so retarded", or that was retarded"? In either of those instances were you telling the person that they had disbilities, or has it just become a social norm to say? I can not wrap my mind around this. I know that this was a medical term back in the day, but now a days I think that it is an expression that has nothing to do with disabilities. Maybe I am nieve and one day I will have to face someone referring to my child as a "retard". But if DS is considered being "retarded" count me in. I want to be compared to someone who has so much love in them that it radiates to everyone around them, I want to be known for a smile that can make someone's day, I want to be known for being completely Christlike in all that I do. I want to be known for all of the lives that I touch, and for all of the inspiration that I would give to those around me. Have you ever been around a person with DS and not felt the simple joy that they have for life? (Don't get me wrong, we all have our moments of moodiness). My point is that I do not believe that the word "retard" is used in the same way that it was a few years ago. I just want everyone to know in advanced that I am sorry if I ever offend you by using this word, it is not intended to hurt, I just don't feel like it means the what it used to. Does anyone else feel this way or am I completely out of line? Well now that I have vented my feelings and will be shunned I am sure, here are some new pictures.

Brunton 1 month old.

I just love this little boy so much!

Oh ya, remember this cutie. I can not believe how grown up Coleman is these days. He is such a clown. We are pretty sure that the school is going to have our number on speed dial for him disrupting the class. But right now we just enjoy all of his antic's. Here are a few of my favorite things about Coleman from the past few days.

Coleman is obsessed with feeding the ducks. He talks about it nonstop. It is so fun to watch him yell at the ducks to come here and get the bread. He also yells at the "eagles" (seagulls) when they steal the bread from the ducks. Another of his obsessions is tractors. He can tell you what each tractor is, its job, and what color it is. A game that he loves to play in the car is name that tractor. He will yell out from the backseat when he spots when, and then he will decide who gets it. It is almost always the same. Coleman gets any blue or green ones (sometimes orange ones), Brunton gets the yellow ones, and Mommy gets the green ones. I love seeing him learn and grow, but at the same time I am sad that soon these days will end. He is so fun to be around (don't get me wrong he has his fair share plus of melt downs), I love just having conversations with him. My favorite moment this week was when just out of the blue Cole looked at me and told me that I was his best friend! He walks around the house singing all kinds of songs and if he senses that we are having a bad day he will ask us in his tiny(sometimes high pitched voice), "Whats matter", and then say "It's ok". He is such a good boy and the best big brother. I catch him talking to Brunton all the time. He tells him all about the world and what he is doing. When Brunton cries Cole will tell him "Don't worry mommy is getting the bottle, or mommy is coming its ok." He wants to hold Brunton every second of the day, and is constantly kissing him. I think that Brunton is lucky to have him. I know that as they grow Coleman will teach him many things, of course mostly about tractors, but thats okay by me!!!

There is beauty all around

HOW COULD ANYONE

HOW COULD ANYONE EVER TELL YOU
YOU WERE ANYTHING LESS THAN BEAUTIFUL?
HOW COULD ANYONE EVER TELL YOU
YOU WERE LESS THAN WHOLE?
HOW COULD ANYONE FAIL TO NOTICE
THAT YOUR LOVING IS A MIRACLE?
HOW DEEPLY YOU’RE CONNECTED TO MY SOUL.

Words and music by Libby Roderick c 1988

I found this tonight and thought that it was appropriate for how I am feeling. Last week someone said that my baby was ugly. Now this man has no idea who I am, and I have never met him. The comment was made to someone in passing and I am sure that he was just making small talk. I was not there so I do not know exactly what happened only what was told to me by my sister .I am glad that this came up in our conversation later that day, because it gave me a chance to contemplate what people truley think and feel about others who are not exatly like them. Now in his defense perhaps this man has never been exposed to the incredible world of people with special needs, perhaps he hasn't experienced the joy that is found by just being in the same room as one of these special people. Perhaps he is just a jerk. In a sense I am grateful for this man's honest opinion( I am trying to find the positive in things these days). I know that I will have to grow a thick skin because lets face it some people don't hold back. I am sure that in the years to come I will be hurt by many people who either think that they are helping, or by those that have diarrhea of the mouth and feel that their opinion must be heard. At the end of the day though I know that Brunton is perfect in every way, and even though others will have their own opinion its really only mine that matters!! (just ask my husband I tell him that all the time!) I hope that someday this man is touched by someone with special needs that he can experience the joy that they bring to this world and those who surround them.
So today's DS fact is...

DOWN SYNDROME CHILDREN ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

We are not alone..

Today's myth is...

Down Syndrome is a rare disorder.

Actually Down syndrome is not rareat all. Almost 1 in every 700 babies is born with Down syndrome. And there are over 6000 babies born with Down syndrome in the US each year. Currently, there is an estimated 350,000 plus individuals in the United States with Down syndrome.

Soon after recieving the diagnosis of DS we were connected to the Utah Down Syndrome Foundation. It was so nice to talk to parents who had been exactly where we are now, and to hear that what we are feeling is normal. We were able to attend the Buddy walk where we we are able to meet a lot of families who have kids with DS. I knew that there were quite a few people with DS out there, but I don't think that I ever realized how many lived right in my own community. And since Brunton has come into our lives there is rarely a day that goes by that someone doesn't tell us about a person with DS that has touched there lives in some way. We had never planned on belonging to such a wonderful group! I hope that someday Brunton will be able to touch the lives of others for the better! I feel honored to knowand love one of these kids with such a "rare" disorder!! (sorry if this doesn't make sense and I have rambled on, but its 2 am what do you expect?)

Momma always says...

Life's Like a box of Chocolates you never know what your gonna get!!!

Okay so I am not very good at posting everyday. I always have good intentions, but something always comes up. So I am going to post 4 myths for the 4 days that I missed. Right after we found out that Brunton did have down syndrome I remember my mind wandering to the future. i wondered what kind of future my child would have. They soon sent in a social worker who informed us that we had to mourn for the "normal" child that we lost. She went on to inform us that he wouldn't be the captain of the football team, or homecoming king, or even get married. (who knows if Coleman will even do any of these things). I was heartbroken by what they were telling me. According to them my baby would never amount to anything. This bothered me for quite awhile. I know that they were all trying to help, but all I wanted at that point was to take my perfect little baby and run!! I wanted to hide out in our house where no one could hurt him, or me for that matter. I was tired of them telling me all the things that he won't do and can't do. I still had a baby He may not be exactly what we expected, but he is ours and we love him. It didn't matter to me that he may not do the "normal" things in life. Okay enough rambling. Here are some things that I ran into that I think they should tell you in the hospital!!


Myth# 1: People with Down syndrome have a short life expectancy.
Actually the life expectancy for people with Down syndrome has increased dramatically in recent years. The average life expectancy is approaching that of their peers without Down syndrome.


Myth# 2: Adults with Down syndrome have no chance of employment
Actually many businesses seek young adults with Down syndrome for a variety of positions. On the National Down Syndrome Society website it says that, "They are being employed in small- and medium-sized offices: by banks, corporations, nursing homes, hotels and restaurants. They work in the music and entertainment industry, in clerical positions, childcare, the sports field and in the computer industry. People with Down syndrome bring to their jobs enthusiasm, reliability and dedication."


Myth#3: Adults with Down syndrome can not form close interpersonal relationships that lead to marriage.
Actually people with Down syndrome are able to date, socialize, form ongoing relationships and marry.

So even though they painted such a bleak outlook for Brunton's future, we now know that he will be whatever he wants to be. We now focus on the can and will instead of the can't and won't!!

Characteristic's of Down Syndrome

Today I thought that I would describe some of the signs, and symptoms of Down Syndrome. I remember looking over at Brunton just seconds after he was born and thinking he looked a little different. The word Down Syndrome crossed my mind first, but I brushed it away thinking that I was just over thinking the situation. I wasn't sure what a baby looked like right at birth so I thought that the eyes were normal (Coleman was rushed from the delivery room and I did not see him for a few hours). So when the nurse called the doctor over and they started whispering I new that there was something wrong. So what exactly do they look for when diagnosing someone with DS. Well there are an estimated 100 characteristic's associated with DS. A few of these characteristic's are...

A flat facial profile.

An upward slant to the eyes.

Abnormally shaped ears.

A short neck, and smaller than normal size.

A single, deep transverse crease on the palm of the hand

A small mouth sometimes with a large, protruding tongue.

( I just love when he gets excited and sticks his cute tongue out.)

In those first couple of days after Brunton was born I had a hard time not focusing on all of these "abnormal" features. I would wonder what people thought when they saw him. Was he as beautiful to them as he was to me? I now feel bad for being so vain. Why should I care if people think that he looks different? He is an amazing little boy, and I think that he is perfect in every way!!!

What is Down Syndrome?

(Brunton at only 4 hours old, pre-NICU)

So what exactly is Down Syndrome and what causes it? I had always thought that there was only one type of DS, but I was wrong yet again. There are actually three different forms of DS, Trisomy 21, Mosaicism, and Translocation.The most common is trisomy 21. Trisomy 21 accounts for about 95% of cases of Down Syndrome. This type of Down Syndrome occurs because of an error in cell division. What happens is that a pair of the 21st chromosomes in either the egg or the sperm do not separate properly. This extra chromosome is then found in every cell in the body,thereby causing the characteristics of Down Syndrome. Mosaicism occurs in about 1-2% of all cases of Down Syndrome. In this type of Down Syndrome the error in separation of the 21st chromosome occurs in one of the first few cell divisions AFTER fertilization. This causes the fetus to have some cells with 46 chromosomes and some with 47. The cells with 47 chromosomes have one extra 21st chromosome. Because not all of the cells contain the extra chromosome 21 the range of physical problems varies depending on the ratio of cells with 46 chromosomes to those with 47 chromosomes. Translocation occurs in approximately 3-4% of babies born with Down Syndrome. In this type of Down Syndrome a part of chromosome number 21 breaks off and attaches itself to another chromosome. Often this is chromosome number 14. This causes all cells in the body to have the extra piece of the 21st chromosome.
Brunton is believed to have Trisomy 21. But to know for sure we would have to do further genetic testing.

National Down Syndrome month

October is National Down Syndrome awareness month, and with being a new mom of a baby with Down Syndrome I thought that I would share some of the facts, and myths each day this month that we have discovered in the last month. There are so many myths out there, and we are guilty of believing some of them ourselves. I would like to clear these up so that people will be able to get to know our little man! When we recieved the news that our little guy had DS we were in shock. I remember thinking that this shouldn't be happening to me. They say that you are at a high risk to have a DS baby when you are over 35, and I am only 27. Well what we soon learned was that the statistics are a little misleading. Over 80% of babies with Down syndrome are actually born to women under the age of 35. And the average age of these women is 28! An older mother is more likely to have a baby with DS than younger mother, but older mothers only make up about 9% of all live births each year and 25% of Down syndrome births. I had thought that if I had my children before I was 35 I wouldn't be at risk. I guess that I was nieve (like I think a lot of people are) about the whole thing! We are so grateful for Brunton and all the joy that he has brought to our lives. He has thrown us for a loop, but we have already grown and learned so much from him. One of the things that he has taught me is that you can't plan everything in life, but that it is best to just live in the moment because you never know what might come next. I have had so much fun these past few weeks spending time with my boys. I have neglected a lot of things (housework), but these are moments that I will never have again, and the housework is always there!! So I will try to live in the moment more and plan LESS, lets face it I will always be somewhat of a planner!

A very busy month!

What have we been up to you ask, well we have been....

Sleeping,

We have enjoyed spending time with cousins. Here we are lounging with cousin Porter.

We even took time away from our busy schedule of doctor appointments and went to Flaming Gorge (no pictures because my camera died), and to the Hogle Zoo.

This was Coleman's favorite exhibit. I am so glad that we drove all the way to the zoo and all Cole wanted to do was watch the tractors dig.

And all Brunton wanted to do was snuggle and sleep. Well at least they both enjoyed the trip, but next time I will just take them to the local construction site!!

Here is Brunton's new favorite place to sit. He loves to look around and it makes it easy for me because then I can just push him from room to room as I clean. The downside to this is that Coleman thinks that he needs to push Brunton. Brunton is so patient with him, which I am very grateful for!

We also had a great opportunity to attend the Buddy Walk for Down Syndrome! It was so much fun. We were able to meet families that are going through the same thing that we are going through. We are so grateful for the support of our family and friends, but to talk to people who are experiencing all of the same emotions was very validating! I have felt very bad for some of the feelings I have had over the last month, but the families we talked to have had all the same emotions!! I am grateful for the support system in place for us. It was also nice to see that kids with down syndrome to have a future, and it is not bleak like the doctor in the hospital made it out to be!

Coleman was so happy to see that they had a train there! He loves trains, and he was able to take a couple rides around the park. He was in heaven!

Here is my cute boys in there matching Buddy Walk T-shirts. Brunton will have to grow into his

Isn't he just the cutest little boy!!

We also had our annual pumpkin party at theDoxey's. Here are my boys riding on the hayride to the pumpkin patch!

Here are the boys with the pumpkins they picked out. Coleman loves his pumpkin and keeps trying to bring it in the house. I am not sure that it will last until Halloween!

Italy vs Holland

I am going to warn you that if you don't want to hear the rantings of hormonal woman close this page now because I need to vent! I read something that hit close to home the other night the author compared having a baby to going on a wonderful vacation to Italy, you get your travel guides and plan what you will see. The day finally arrives for your fabulous trip but instead of the plane landing in Italy as you had planned it lands in Holland. You are dissapointed to be in Holland because you were expecting Italy. Its not that Holland is a bad place it is just not what you expected. So now you have to buy a new guide book, and make new plans. The trip will still be a good one, just different then what was planned. This is how I feel. I was so excited the day I found out that I was pregnant with Brunton. It had taken us quite some time to get pregnant with Coleman, so it was a surprise that after just 3 months of trying we were expecting. This pregnancy was a hard one for me. The first trimester I had a lot of spotting and feared that I would miscarry and then there was the nausea and headaches. I was miserable. Then I hit 18 weeks and the doctor decided that because of Coleman's preterm birth I needed to do pregesterone shots. (If you have had to have these you know that they are so thick that they burn going in and the injection site is sore for days after). Well I bucked up and gave myself the shots because I loved my baby and wanted to do all I could to give him a chance to be as healthy as possible. And then there is the third trimester where I am put on bedrest for 5 weeks because I am in preterm labor. At this point I am beyond frustrated but I keep going for my baby. And then the blessed day arrives. Everything is running smoothly for once I had an easy, short labor and once that epidural was in I was in heaven. Even when they told me he might have down syndrome I felt like they were just mistaken. Then they transfered US to the recovery room. I was so happy, my baby was with me. It was finally going like I had planned. For 8 hours Brunton lay by me. People came to visit us and it was as if everything was fine. Then I mentioned to the nurse that he seemed blue to me and that is where it all went downhill. He was rushed to the NICU to be monitored. We quickly fell back into the routine of the NICU. Only touching our baby every 3 hours and always having someone watching what you are doing. All I wanted was to have a baby, and experience a normal recovery. Instead I got to experience the lonliness and heartbreak of another NICU baby. Instead of visitors excited to see us and the baby we spent our time in the NICU talking to doctors, social workers, and many others who were caring for our little one. Instead of going home from the hospital and relaxing, we got to go home long enough to drop off our stuff and be back to the hospital for Brunton's 10 am cares. Instead of bonding with my baby in the comfort of my home I had to listen to the nurses explain to me why my baby was better off in their care. And now instead of spending my maternity leave relaxing and spending time with my boys I get to go to doctor appointments, arrange early intervention, arrange for oxygen in our home, and much more. I am grateful for Brunton, he is such a blessing in our lives, but this definatley is not "Italy". I guess we will just have to make a new plan and in the end I am sure that everything will turn out great. Hey, maybe in the end we will wonder why we wanted to go to "Italy" anyway because "Holland" is much better!!!

Hanging out at home

We are absolutely loving having our little guy home! He is such a blessing in our lives. Coleman LOVES his brother and is constantly asking to hold him. Brunton is a really good baby, he rarely cries and if he does he is easily calmed down. He loves to be cuddled, which works out great because we all love to cuddle him.

Coleman has to know where Brunton is at all times. He loves doing everything with him. This is how I found them, they were watching Toy Story and both of them were out. Before falling asleep I heard Coleman telling Brunton all about the movie. He is constantly talking to him about everything. It makes me smile to think of what great friends they are going to be!

Coleman loves to hold Brunton. That is one of the first things he asks for when he gets up in the morning. He is so cute when he holds him because he will talk to him (he calls him "Brunti goo) and he always makes sure to give him a kiss and tell him that he loves him. Oh how I love these two boys!!!